Why group?
“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”
-Esther Perel
Bob Unger on Group Therapy
EFFECTIVE
Group therapy is an excellent way to work with most of the issues that frequently drive people to seek therapy. While symptoms like depression and anxiety are often a part of the motivation to seek therapy, I often (almost always) find that the roots of people’s most profound struggles are found in our relationships.
Are you un-fulfilled in your primary relationship or at work? Do you have a hard time maintaining close friendships? Have you struggled to find a relationship with a partner that really works? Do you tend to get anxious around others? Do you often get frustrated with people? Do you struggle to share your feelings in ways that people can connect to? Do you struggle to even know what you’re feeling sometimes? Do you just wish that you felt closer to people? Do you want a place to consistently connect with others in a deeply honest and genuine way? If any of these questions are relevant for you group is likely a more effective choice than individual therapy.
EFFICIENT
I typically see results much quicker in groups than in individual therapy. While individual therapy tends to focus on events that are either past or future, my approach to group therapy centers on immediacy; the evolving experience that we have while we talk with each other in group. This has the effect of igniting our emotions so that we can work with them in real-time, which ultimately gets us farther, faster, making group a more efficient way of doing therapeutic work.
LESS COSTLY
The math is simple; group therapy costs members roughly one sixth (1/6th!) of the cost per-minute of individual therapy. Since I’m able to see multiple people in a group setting (4-10), I’m able to charge each member a significantly lower rate for each group than as for an individual session. Many of my group colleagues believe that being less costly makes group an essential part of addressing mental health in our society. The relative cost without sacrificing efficacy can go a long way to improving the equity and accessibility of highly effective therapy.
TRULY UNIQUE
I care a great deal about fostering and maintaining a culture within my groups that is distinct from many other places in members’ lives. We share a common goal of learning more about ourselves through our interactions with one another. I encourage members to share their thoughts and feelings genuinely with one another and we work hard to make group an experience that is unlike other relationships. You may not feel free to communicate freely and honestly with your boss or your friends, or even your partner. I strive to make group a place where you can work toward more freedom to be yourself both in group and in your life outside group. It’s a truly unique experience.
What you’re feeling is normal
I have yet to admit any new group member who wasn’t the slightest bit nervous about joining a group, nor do I anticipate that ever happening. It’s normal to feel anxious about joining a group and you may already be feeling that now. Consider that this is part of the experience; are you nervous about how you’ll be received? Are you afraid that you’ll have to share things you don’t want to? Have you had bad experiences in other group settings (work, school, friends, etc…) and you’re worried about a similar thing happening? Working with these kinds of feelings has the potential for significant growth if you choose to face them.
What is group like?
A first group experience
Group, The Series
My group philosophy
I believe…
…First and foremost in people’s right to self determination.
…It is always your decision if and what to share with a group, and what not to.
…Relationships are complex, and so are we.
…The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
…Conflict is not a sign there is something wrong in a relationship, it is a natural consequence of growing closer to people.
…Learning how to engage in conflict in a way that strengthens and preserves our relationships is essential for secure relationships.
…Our ability to form and maintain rich, meaningful and secure relationships is the most significant determinant for mental health and wellness.
…Everyone has work to do in our relationships to ourselves and others, whether your are single, married, divorced, widowed, a parent, partnered, poly or wherever you are in your relational journey; everyone has their own route up their own mountain.
If any of this stirs something in you I encourage you to start the process of joining a group.
Start by leaving me a voice message or sending me an e-mail for a free initial consultation.
Click the button below or leave me a message on my direct line: (970) 281-7727
Other resources related to group therapy
The Parable of the Long Spoons
A man having a near death experience, contemplates his life of sin and anxiously awaits his fate in the next world. An escort meets him at the boundary of hereafter and with a welcoming smile says, “You’re not ready yet friend; you still have another chance. But you’ll return soon, so let me show you what goes on here on the other side.” Together they enter a great hall where a long candle-lit banquet table is laden with bowls of steaming, fragrant soups, succulent roasts, perfectly cooked vegetables, aromatic loaves of bread, the finest of wines, fruits of every kind, and a dazzling array of cakes and pies. Diners fill every chair, but shockingly, amid luxurious bounty, the scene is one of pain and anguish. Skeletal forms are twisted and moaning in starvation, with barely the strength to strike at each other with their spoons. Looking closer, the man sees that all spoons have long handles—longer than the diners’ arms; too long for the diners to feed themselves. “So this is Hell,” gasps our Friend. “Anger and misery amid abundance. “But, come, let me show you something else.” Says the Escort. The two enter another great hall. And in that hall there is another long, candle-lit banquet table, covered with a similar incredible spread of delicious foods, drinks and sweets. Here the sounds of laughter, chatter and song fill the hall while healthy and happy diners are enjoying the company and the bounty before them. They, too, have long spoons, but they are feeding each other. “And this, my friend “is heaven.” – Author Unknown